12 10 / 2014


you should have opened your eyes i was crazy for you

(via gelatinousjugs)

Permalink 146,182 notes

12 10 / 2014

A limerick:



Doesn’t look like a limerick to you? Try this:

A dozen, a gross, and a score
Plus three times the square root of four
Divided by seven
Plus five times eleven
Is nine squared and not a bit more.

(via afreudianslipper)

Permalink 110,904 notes

12 10 / 2014



What’s the word for horny but not in a sexual way like I’m horny for Halloween but I don’t wanna fuck a pumpkin you feel

do u mean excited

(via tyleroakley)

Permalink 291,668 notes

12 10 / 2014



when bae sets up a surprise date <3

(via strangeparkings)

Permalink 189,272 notes

07 4 / 2014

Permalink 5,829 notes

15 3 / 2013


If you slow down Call Me Maybe to 75% its original speed, it sounds vaguely like an acoustic cover by a guy in a coffee shop.

this is still brilliant

(via longneckbastard)

Permalink 128,370 notes

28 11 / 2012

I don’t want you to get hurt.

That’s why i’m putting you in bubble wrap, then double locking all the doors shut so you can’t get out unless you find the keys… which you will never find. Hint: They were delicious.

19 10 / 2012

I set an alarm for every hour so I can wake up and check if you’re still next to me.

03 10 / 2012

Let’s go somewhere only we know.

No, seriously. That spot is our little secret. Nobody will be able to find us here. If they do i might go to jail for holding you hostage…

30 9 / 2012

I went to your work today to say hi.

I asked your co-worker if you were there. You weren’t scheduled to work today… How was your other girlfriends house?!?